Do you ever feel like there is not enough time in life? For as long as I could remember, I struggled with reconciling what I want for myself with the needs of others. I am sure I am not alone in feeling this way. All I want is for some uninterrupted time to be left alone to do nothing (or everything) if I want to.
The part that sucks is my time has never just been mine. I went from being a child being told what to do, to a student doing what I was expected to do. I then transition into an adult with things that I am required to do. At some point, I just felt weird to not do anything. I felt like I would be in trouble if I am not doing something.
Even in building the life that I wanted, I now realized that I forgot to make time for myself. Sadly, this part of my journey requires more of me, and I feel like I have less to give. My body is changing so what used to work, doesn’t work to give me more energy anymore (not to mention all the new tricks it has decided to reveal). My husband and I are on different time schedules for our careers so quality time is a challenge. My house is cluttered, and I can't seem to find time to declutter it. (I have no idea where we got all this $#!+). I have an additional kid with a full list of activities and my daughter is a junior in high school, so her college prep activities have also ramped up. I am in transition with my company, so it requires more of me when I am ready to do less. The pandemic weirdness is finally started to dissolve which means I am required to do more in person. I did not understand the 80's commercial slogan "Callgone take me away" until now, but truer sentiments have never been expressed.
There are times when it feels like there is no room to stop and take a breath. All of life is coming fast and furious and I feel overwhelmed and underwater. The way I beat this is to JUST STOP, say no to everyone, and take some time to breathe. The truth is, most of us are not in a life-or-death situation. If we take a mental health day to regroup, the world will not stop turning. Taking a day to check in with ourselves, will only help us go back into it all with clarity and purpose. We can't save anyone else while we are drowning ourselves.
Here are 5 steps to creating the perfect Mental Health Day:
Reset your mindset. Enough is Enough. You are enough. You have given enough. Realize that if you weren’t enough, people in your life would not ask you for help. They come to you because they know that you are able to come through for them. This is a blessing and a curse. So, tell yourself “ I am enough”. Also, feel free to tell anyone who complains about you taking time for yourself that you have given enough for now and to have patience (or F@#$ off! Whichever is more effective). No is a full sentence. You don't have to justify the need to take care of your mental health.
Write a Vision Story. Most of the time we are pushed by the pain of what we don't want instead of being pulled by the vision of what we do want. What does a mental health day look like for you? For me, it was a day with no plans, with options of binge-watching TV, hanging at the beach, going to the spa, or playing video games. ( I know my list is random, don't judge me). Can't move forward better if you don't know where you are going. So, take some time to dream up the perfect day for yourself. If you could have a day that was exactly what you need it to be what would that look like? Focus on the desired outcome instead of what you have to do to get the outcome.
Layout a map. Based on the outcome, identify what is the first steps you need to take in order to make that true. Who do you need to reschedule, what do you need to cancel, what do you need to book? All important questions to ask when trying to give yourself enough space to breathe. Also consider, making this a habit weekly. It may be easier to have a "Check Out of Adulting" day scheduled for yourself weekly or bi-weekly. Just remember the time is for you to only care about yourself and what you need to feel good about yourself.
Create an accountability strategy. We have to honor our commitments and it seems that most of us are good and honoring commitments to others and suck at honoring them to ourselves. So, you will need to identify what is going to sabotage your efforts to get some much-needed "me time" before it happens. What is going to get in your way of taking the first step and what are you going to do to overcome it? Having a support team can help us honor our commitments so talk to a friend, family member, coach, or expert. They can be a great help if you feel like you need more support in overcoming the obstacles.
Activate your action plan. Make all the appointments now while you have the courage to make it happen for yourself. We are having this very conversation because you don't take the time to care for yourself. So, lying to yourself by saying you will do it later is just setting yourself up for failure. (You know you!) Save the people you love a very cringy moment later when you overreact to something simple, and all they asked you is where are their socks. (Oh, that's a me thing? Got it!) Anyway, once you complete this step repeat steps 3 and 4 until you have created the perfect mental health break that you need.
If you need any support, I am here and available to chat for free. Just book a 20-minute connect call. You do not have to struggle alone. Together we can support each other. Don’t forget, in your life, you have choices, choose to be great!
Photo Credit: Nsey Benajah